And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Randomize
