??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
