why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
