oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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