Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
