Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
