my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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