i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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