Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
