non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
