Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
