Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
