That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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