Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
