Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
