Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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