my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
