I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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