ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
