I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
