hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My penis needs a shock collar
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
