At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
