it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
