I wannas sexs uuuuu
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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