I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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