Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
