I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
