i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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