No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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