you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
