that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize