Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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