i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
