Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
