a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
