did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize