Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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