You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
