when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
