I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
