the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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