positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We have so much sex to catch up on
We had sex on a dog bed..
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
