Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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