chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Randomize
