**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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