out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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