Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Do you have feelings for this penis?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
