And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
