It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize
