So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You smell like stripper and shame
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize