found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
