im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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