i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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