Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
