i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
