sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
