Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
