Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize