she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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