Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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